Backward and Forward

This morning, I went to bed about 2 AM, planning on waking up around 8 for my counseling appointment at 9 AM. This was slightly delayed by my browsing the Internet via my phone until about 2:30, but I had set my alarm clock and a timer on my phone for 8 AM.

For the third time, that didn’t happen. I woke up at 8, but I turned off my phone’s alarm, rolled over, and went back to sleep until 8:50. I decided to go ahead and go, started getting ready to drive to campus, and then, about 8:55, I realized that if I left my apartment about 9, I would make it to campus at 9:15 and then it’d be a few more minutes to walk to the counseling center. I decided this didn’t seem worth it, so I went ahead and called the counseling center, talked for a few minutes to the counselor I’ve been meeting with, and for the third time we rescheduled for the same time next week (even though we haven’t actually met since April 9).

Needless to say, this was frustrating. This general mood wasn’t helped by going to campus anyway to meet my brother for lunch. While walking around campus and eating in the student union, I felt like I was enjoying people watching too much. The good news on that front, at least, is that taking classes this summer and fall should mean that I’ll have some potential for being around people that isn’t while at work. At one point I also started wondering what it would be like if I could either start college all over again, with a blank transcript, or at least have followed a more “traditional” path by going to one school, finding something I wanted to major in, and then staying at that school until graduation (4-6+ years, finances depending), as opposed to my college experience to date of going to a university I liked, majoring in something I didn’t like after the first week, leaving that school after a year, taking two years off in the work force, and then taking classes at one school before transferring to yet another university. Third time’s the charm?

I distinctly remember, the first semester of my freshman year, deciding I didn’t enjoy being a computer science major. In retrospect, I really should have talked to someone about it, instead of continuing to attend classes I disliked and, in general, not being the most diligent student. It would be nice if I had been more motivated and interested freshman year (particularly second semester – my worst semester to date), but it seems like half of college, if not young adult life in general, is learning how to navigate bureaucracy, or at least large, impersonal structures. Even if you don’t go to college, and instead go to the military or the workforce, there’s probably some element of that involved.

Anyway, it could be worse. My current Business Applications class, as I’ve written here before, is easy, and aside from two quizzes I’ve taken recently my current grade is almost 99%. I’m not too concerned. In contrast to the spring 2010 semester, where I stopped attending most of my classes by mid-February and was a mess at the end of the semester (if not earlier), this semester has been okay, disagreeable writing class and my own failings excepted. Once I take the writing class this summer, my GPA will improve, and next fall German and Accounting should, hopefully, be more interesting (or at least easy).

Non-academically, the last few weeks at work have been a bit rough between people quitting or leaving, so we’ve been short-handed. New people have been hired, though, so aside from training them (which I thankfully haven’t had to do recently) it sounds like being short-handed might be less of a problem. Tomorrow’s pay day, which will be nice until my paycheck promptly vanishes to pay rent and bills. C’est la vie. I believe I have the next couple days off, though, so that’ll be nice.

I’m not a huge fan of summer, due to not enjoying warm weather, insects, and sunlight, but the weather recently has been pleasant, even if I prefer autumn or winter. In general, it could be worse- for example, I don’t live in Nepal, Syria, or the territory claimed by the self-styled “Islamic State”, and (unlike the characters of Revolution, which I’ve started watching again) I have access to the Internet and modern conveniences.

Writing this makes me feel like I need a “mental health” or “venting” tag. “Life” suddenly seems way too broad as a category and tag.


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